An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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