it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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