i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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