after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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