Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
