Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
