You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
