she was so not down for the gang bang
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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