I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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