You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
