yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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