I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
