I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
