I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Houston, we have a blender
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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