Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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