Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
is wine microwaveable?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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