he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
