I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
