he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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