you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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