I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
