What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize