I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When are your genitals available?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
