that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
