i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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