just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
