hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
