Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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