Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Will exercising make me less horny?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
