i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
