She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
