totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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