So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
