i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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