I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
