i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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