he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
