It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
