We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
