Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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