I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In other news, I just burned my penis
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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