I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
