wat bout pragnant strippers??
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
