I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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