oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize