yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
