he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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