Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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