i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
