are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am available for nakedness
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
