No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
