I bet he comes in French.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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