youre lurking in front of me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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