She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize