At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
