My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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