So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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