The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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