Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
