The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize