Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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