About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
