It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
