Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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