Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
